Domestic Shenanigans in the Boudoir

Warning: I think this is an 18Certificate!

Why do I read these papers?

Anyway, someone at work left an old copy of the Daily Express in our tea room(8 April edition) and this article particularly struck me and kept me most amused during my 15 minute tea break:

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A psychologist called Ms Dawson has claimed to have found a correlation between how people vacuum to how they perform in the er... "boudoir department". Ahem

She has identified these types (and I am copying this from the paper!).

The “Dasher” likes to speed around with the vacuum cleaner, usually missing bits. This person is impatient, ambitious and fast-talking – not the type to take their time in bed.

In contrast the “Methodical” always vacuums the same way, and would never dream of shortening the time it normally takes. In life, they tend to be reliable and cautious and prefer to take things slowly between the sheets.

The “Grafter” looks forward to vacuuming as a physical release from stress. They tend to be hard-working and tenacious – and are happy to please their partner. [This is the crazy one for me! Who on earth looks forward to vacuuming as a physical release from stress?!?!? Vacuuming is stress!].

The “Drifter” doesn’t notice whether they are picking up the dirt. This type tends to be dreamy and self-absorbed, and in bed can seem distant or detached.

The “Protester” uses vacuuming to display displeasure. They crash around, bumping into pieces of furniture – and when it comes to sex they are sometimes selfish and prefer their partner to do most of the work.

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I won't ask how you vacuum your house. It's none of my beeswax!! LOL!

I know how I do mine. Protesting, sometimes drifting, never grafting, rarely caring for methodology, often dashing!

:-)

Charlie says: I need to get out more.

Have a lovely Friday everyone!