Friday, 16 April 2010

Domestic Shenanigans in the Boudoir

Warning: I think this is an 18Certificate!

Why do I read these papers?

Anyway, someone at work left an old copy of the Daily Express in our tea room(8 April edition) and this article particularly struck me and kept me most amused during my 15 minute tea break:

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A psychologist called Ms Dawson has claimed to have found a correlation between how people vacuum to how they perform in the er... "boudoir department". Ahem

She has identified these types (and I am copying this from the paper!).

The “Dasher” likes to speed around with the vacuum cleaner, usually missing bits. This person is impatient, ambitious and fast-talking – not the type to take their time in bed.

In contrast the “Methodical” always vacuums the same way, and would never dream of shortening the time it normally takes. In life, they tend to be reliable and cautious and prefer to take things slowly between the sheets.

The “Grafter” looks forward to vacuuming as a physical release from stress. They tend to be hard-working and tenacious – and are happy to please their partner. [This is the crazy one for me! Who on earth looks forward to vacuuming as a physical release from stress?!?!? Vacuuming is stress!].

The “Drifter” doesn’t notice whether they are picking up the dirt. This type tends to be dreamy and self-absorbed, and in bed can seem distant or detached.

The “Protester” uses vacuuming to display displeasure. They crash around, bumping into pieces of furniture – and when it comes to sex they are sometimes selfish and prefer their partner to do most of the work.

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I won't ask how you vacuum your house. It's none of my beeswax!! LOL!

I know how I do mine. Protesting, sometimes drifting, never grafting, rarely caring for methodology, often dashing!
:-)

Charlie says: I need to get out more.


Have a lovely Friday everyone!

23 comments:

iasa said...

I opt for wood floors, so I can spend all that extra time in bed. :)

Amy and The House of Cats said...

What does it mean if you just don't vaccum and make someone else do it?

Hi Charlie!!

Niki said...

haha I'm a grafter lol !!! I love to hoover!! Hoovering IS great for releasing stress and ummm..... so is sex!! hehehe oops can I say that on here?!?!

Sorry for the netball :o) hehe if it's any consulation, I was always goal defense. Hopeless!!

Theresa Milstein said...

iasa has a good answer!

I HATE vacuuming! The thing is... my 11-year-old son does the vacuuming - he does a terrible job. Now I don't want to think about him vacuuming because it's weird!

My sister is the only person I know who loves to vacuum. Hmmm...

Pat @ Mille Fiori Favoriti said...

LOL!
I think Ms Dawson need to have her head examined!

I am a reluctant vacuumer as my vacuum is so heavy and eats the fringe on my area rugs.

Katnip Lounge said...

This is too funny...my husband usually vacuums...next time he does I'll do a little scientific observation!

xx Kat Mom

Susan Fields said...

That is hilarious! Do you remember my post from about a month or so ago about how much I love my new vacuum and how vacuumming is a joy. :)

Jacqueline said...

Hilarious and a little scary; I will probably pay more attention to the way people clean their house now!!LOL...Very funny post!...Yes, Charlie, your Mom and I both need to get out more!

Debra Harris-Johnson said...

I have a housekeeper so I guess I hire someone to do my vacuming. That doesn't speak well of me according to the sex part, I think???

KarenG said...

Hmm, never thought of this before!

Love Meow said...

What an interesting correlation. never thought of it before.

When I vacuum, my kitties get scared and run away from me, so I often try to hurry.

fairyhedgehog said...

This is so funny! I've just posted about a writer who says that you don't really know people unless you know what they're like in bed. Now we have a shortcut to that: see what they're like as vacuumers!

Kea said...

ROTFL! Actually, vacuuming is the only household chore I like. It's instant gratification. I don't find it releases stress, though. I just like the immediate results. And, well, er, I love the sound of dirt being sucked up into the canister! And I definitely don't want to know what that says about me in any other regard. ;-)

kate m said...

I reckon Miss Dawson was approached by the PR department of a vacuum company before deciding on her "research" area

Milton said...

Muttie NEVER vaccuums - does that mean she's celibate?

Milt x

Milton said...

Muttie NEVER vaccums - does that mean she's celibate?

Milt x

Brian said...

Why does it have to be so darn loud? Oh, I meant the vacuum!

Talli Roland said...

Happy Friday! You gotta love the Daily Express, right?

Hope you and Charlie have a great weekend!

Marg said...

Who vacuums??? That is way too much work. Just kidding.
Great post. Interesting comparison.
Hope you have a super week end. Charlie you are looking terrific. Thanks for putting the widget on your sidebar.

Kat_RN said...

You do need to get out more, but that was silly. Silly is good. I agree with iasa, wood floors are great, once over with a swiffer thingy on occasion and you are good to go (not as warm in winter though). We do have carpet in a few rooms, but most of it is going to go.
Have a nice weekend, and no vacuming.
Kat

hampshireflyer said...

I don't vacuum because I have wooden floors! I don't want to know what that says about me :)

Rebecca @ Diary of a Virgin Novelist said...

I want a housekeeper. I am the laziest of them all!

ABBY said...

I opt for a housekeeper too!

LOL

HI Charlie you handsome mancat you!

purrs
>^,,^<
Abby