Monday, 15 March 2010

Empty nest

It hits home when I open the front door and there is her scratching post, her catnip cushions, her litter tray and her food bowls. I know I ought to put them away – but I can’t because I think she’s still around.

Yesterday, I called out to her. I thought I heard her.

The weekend and I find that I have more time in the mornings and evenings. My schedule that had centred on the Cat’s medication and feeding times has freed up these minutes that I never knew I had.

Suddenly I am ready for work and I’ve got half an hour to spare. I’m home and I’ve exercised, cooked, baked date and banana muffins, had dinner and it’s not yet 9pm.

It’s also hit me just how much of my writing course I need to catch up on. Suddenly there are 3 separate assignments of 2000 words or more each to finish in eight weeks. I’m still staring at my course work outline and deadlines and going: ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!

How on earth did I fall behind so quickly?

So I have stories to write. I am grateful that at least, I have that.

I thought I was all cried out until I saw this. It was made specially for my tough ol' girl form the wonderful Noir’s Nook, the lovely ML and the amazing Cat Blogsphere. I'm so touched and truly comforted. Thank you.




It’s the silence and the emptiness that overwhelms.

26 comments:

Amy and The House of Cats said...

Oh I am so sad to read the news! I know how hard this has to be - it just sucks. I am sure that she is up there at the bridge with our kitty Floyd, who also had lymphoma, just playing and having lots of fun and tasty treats. I don't know what to say other then I am so so sorry that she had to go. We are all sending lots of comforting purrs and prayers and hugs.

ABBY said...

{{{{{hugs}}}}
it will not be easy
the quiet
the changes
the big hole in your heart
will need to heal
when healing seems impossible
the love you shared will be the grace
and the blessing
and finally the healing will come

purrs and headbumps
abby

Theresa Milstein said...

Oh, it's horrible to still feel the cat's presence and all of her things are still there. How you must miss her. I won't write any of those cliches. It's just a hard time and I know you'll get through it.

I'm glad that you have focus and will use the time for writing. Writing is cathartic. And there's nothing like due dates to light a fire under you.

Niki said...

aww Kitty, it will get easier as time goes on.

Tell me about your course. I'm way behind in mine too. My assignment is about characters and I have to write character bios which I'm finding really hard. I just want to write stories :o)

iasa said...

oh, i;m so sorry

Wendy aka Quillfeather. said...

You poor darling. I really do feel your pain. And the worst thing, is that nobody can do a damn thing to soothe the ache in your chest. Only time can do that.

Chin up.

umi_e said...

The memories will always stay...

~hugs~

Take Care

Jacqueline said...

The silence and the emptiness were very overwhelming to me too; after Nik died at 20, I waited for 5 months to get Calle/Halle, but if I had to face that again, I would get another kitty much sooner...The love of another kitty helps you to heal as much as you can and you realize loving another kitty is just an extension of the love you shared with the one you lost...I hope you find another lucky kitty to share your life and love with when you feel ready...I wish you comfort and peace from your sorrow.

Jenny Woolf said...

I am so sorry to hear the sad news. I'm glad that you have the writing to occupy you. Writing can be really good therapy. What a sweet picture of her just looking through the door

fairyhedgehog said...

*hugs*

Rebecca @ Diary of a Virgin Novelist said...

Hang in there. It is a process. i am glad you have a lot of writing in front of you. Dive in!

Kea said...

(((Kitty)))

I had Annie after Chum died, so I didn't have that emptiness. I'm not sure I could stand it, as much as the fur kids (read Nicki) drive me crazy sometimes.

Healing takes time, and really, no one ever "gets over" a loss. The pain dulls and finally you find some acceptance and peace. Just remember that the holes in our hearts are to let the Light shine in--and out.

Everycat said...

Those little sounds of Cat that you think you hear, will be around for a while. We still think we hear Angel sometimes and it's her way of helping us accept that though she's not with us in the material world, that her love lasts forever.

Whicky Wuudler et al

The Creek Cats said...

We are so very sorry to hear she is gone. Know you are in our thoughts and prayers during this very sad time. We lost our Cal last year on March 26, there was nothing more the vet could do for him. (((hugs))))

Noir the Texas Tabby said...

I know you still are sad. The emptiness will ease--in your own time. The Cat would like that.And if you heard her in the house--you did.

Thank you for the kind the words--and I'm so grateful for ML, and the Cat Blogosphere to come and share their sympathies. Good people. Good kitties.

Always remember, you are blessed.

Noir

Psalms 50:15

Brian said...

You will feel her forever because she has a special home in your heart...and always will. Your friends are always here for you too.

Cheri said...

Wanted to check in on you and see how you are doing. Some people say their pet's spirit stays with you a while before they leave for the Bridge - Cat could just be making sure you are OK! She is your guardian angel now and will always be watching over you. Sending loving energy to you still..

Cats of Wildcat Woods

Kea said...

Monday AM at 11:36 EDT and I'm wondering how you are doing today. Sorry for asking here, there doesn't seem to be any other way to contact you. Please let us know how you are, if you can!

TK said...

My mommy has leaky face when she reads your posts.
We are so very very very sad for you.
We sends purrs to you and your borked hart.
TK

Love Meow said...

It must be hard to come home, knowing something is missing. After I lost Snowman my parents said they did not want to get another cat because of the pain we had to endure, but then I thought why not... getting another cat would help us heal, so a couple months later, I adopted an orange tabby from a friend who couldn't take care of him. I took him home to meet my parents. It was love in first sight. We will never forget Snowman. He always has a place in our heart, but I know he wants us to be well and share our love with other kitties.

Take care. Jackie, Flip and Shadow are purring for you.

Talli Roland said...

So sorry to hear of your loss.

Talli Roland said...

So sorry to hear of your loss.

Felted House said...

I so understand - I cried every time I walked in to the house for a couple of weeks because of the emptiness. I also cried all the way home with Archie because he wasn't Newton, but I have to say having him around has been a delight - I still miss Newton dreadfully but having a kitten to love has been such a great help, the silence before he came seemed deafening, now it's him crashing things about that's deafening! Thinking of you xx

hampshireflyer said...

Keep writing and keep holding on..... I hope you'll get to a point where you feel able to hear another cat in your home soon enough....

Kat_RN said...

How very sad. We love them so much and they love us back.
Kat

Old Kitty said...

Hi Everyone!!!!

For some reason blogger/google refused to work most of yesterday! Even now - I'm trying to follow a few wonderful blogs here but error 400 just pops up saying I can't connect! Even when I try to reply on my own blog! Oh well...

ANYWAY! THANK YOU ALL for your sweet and lovely words. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Thank you!

May you all be blessed with stardust and rainbows and all things good and wonderful.

Take care
x