A Chip Off the Old Block

Bloggie friends!! I am falling apart
I chipped my tooth eating a pecan tart!
I wouldn’t mind but it’s the front molar!
My dazzling smile is now no longer!

And this means *gulp* *shiver* *lose all colour from face* a, ahem, trip to the dentist.

Charlie says: Kindly fill blank page with words, thank you.

Have a twinkly Tuesday everyone!

Steamy Glasses

Bloggie friends!!

You so know it’s freezing outside when you enter your home and your eyeglasses steam up asap.

That’s if you wear eyeglasses like moi!

And that’s if you live north of the hemisphere and winter is well and truly settling in.

Am I dreaming of a snowy Christmas? Darn tootin right I am - because such a prospect sings to my romantic heart! But not to my eyeglasses!

Charlie says: I have a long tongue! And I know what you want for Christmas!


Have a melodious Monday everyone!

Yes to Yen!

Bloggie friends!

Never leave home without a pen! Not only are they handy for scribbling down conversations verbatim like I am wont to do, they’re ever so handy for completing the Evening Standard quick crossword!

Especially whilst stuck on a non-moving packed train held immobile on the middle of the track due to “line congestion”.

Oh and while the train didn’t move, the engine was turned off and so was the heating - on the first proper frosty and icy day of the month.

The clue: Three letters for “longing”.

The answer: Yen.

As in “To have a yen for”. Ahem.

Charlie says: I yen to be next door.



Have a superb weekend everyone!

A Thankful Interview and a call for Centurions!

Bloggie friends!!

The ever so gorgeous Sharde of Realm of Randomness was so kind enough to interview me, here

But the reason why I'm telling y'all is not to read my silly answers to her fab questions but to listen to Ms Sharde read one of my sillier poems!!

She makes the words sing with that lovely voice of hers! Awww!! I was so happy to hear it!

Charlie says: HAPPY THANKSGIVING to everyone honouring this day!


Bloggie friends - I will be offline AGAIN today (Booooo!!) but I will return - very late to your blogs - probably by the weekend - but return I will!!

ANNOUNCEMENT!

The ever so feared and fearless Maximuss Spittamus is recruiting centurions!!

Being the Centre of the Universe, he needs lots of protection! Here is what he says:

"If you would like to join my Centurions and be a part of the life of the one and only Maximus Spittimus then e-mail your pics to fourdinners@aol.com and The Two Legs will post your pics and you will be a part of my Centurion Army for ever and ever and ever"

Until then, have a spiffing Turkey Day!!!!!!!!!!!

The Speed of Light

Bloggie friends!!

Sometimes you lose your footing and go flying head first towards the pavement at such speed there is nowt you can do about it.

Except stagger up and pretend you’re super cool about what just happened and no of course your knee is not grazed and stinging like crazy and your pride hasn’t fled across the road yelling “You’re on your own mate, I’m off!”

Ahem.

I am treating myself to some Lindt Dark Chocolate Excellence range with a hint of salt to soothe my damaged ego.

Charlie says: I feel your pain. Honest I do.


Have a winsome Wednesday everyone!

Let's Limbo!

Bloggie friends!! I’m in limbo!
I’m impatient and waiting for Crimbo!

(Crimbo - Christmas!)

I won a random critique of the first ten pages of my novel (yay!! Thank you Shannon Whitney Messenger) so while they are being dissected (the pages, not Shannon! LOL!) I can’t seem to carry on with my edits or even write a short story until I know the verdict!

So in the meantime I am subjecting you all to my bad poetry! LOL

Charlie says: I like my hat



Thank you so much Andy and Sammy and mum from Sammy and Andy's Place for hatting Charlie and giving him a terrific cap!

Have a tantric Tuesday everyone!

Tis and That Hat!

Tis the hour before the cake is done
My eyes are droopy and I’m not having fun
My duvet and hot water bottle are calling
From my bed but I must continue ignoring
As the clock ticks towards midnight, I’m straining
To keep awake -for if I don’t there might be a burning!

Et voila!!!

Behind that brown wrapping inside that tin is the Christmas cake – 4 hours later!!!!!

Charlie says: I kick out your hot water bottle and keep your messy bed warm!

NEWSFLASH!! Charlie is about to be "hatted" today by the adorable Sammy and Andy and talented mum!!!

What does that mean bloggie friends? Wait and see.... *cue twilight zone music* LOL!

Have a marzipan Monday everyone!

Off-line Adventing

Bloggie Friends!!!

I love advent calendars that countdown to Christmas Day with a mini chocolate treat just for me per day.

So I bought this RSPCA Advent Calendar from their online shop because the blurb said:

"Count down to Christmas with your pets with these fun advent calendars containing a mini treat for each day"

It never occured to me one bit that they didn't mean a chocolate treat for ME each day.

They meant of course, a mini cat food treat for the cat each day.

Charlie says: Merry Christmas to me!




Bloggie friends - I will be offline ALLLLL DAY TODAY!! So I will be very very very late reading your blogs!! Hopefully I'll catch up over the weekend!

Have a fabulous weekend everyone!

Friends come in all shapes and species

I came across this lovely article about a cat called Ben, a boy called George and his mum, Julia.

“George, 10, has autism. Before Ben arrived, he didn't understand people and would kick and bite if other children touched him. He never showed affection, yet would stroke Ben and bury his face in the cat's fur. He didn't make eye contact – but looked straight at Ben, and when Ben looked back he didn't flinch. George didn't smile either and only spoke in a monotone. But he began to develop a high-pitched "cat-talk" voice, in which he spoke to Ben and replied on Ben's behalf”

(Rix, J, Stay here cat we need you, The Guardian, 13 November 2010, Family suppl., p.3).

Then one day Ben disappears, George reverts to his uncommunicative state and mum, desperate, turns pet detective to track Ben down. Of course there is a happy ending! And of course mum wrote a book about all this:


Charlie says: While you read the article, I finished the crossword.


Have a tantalizing Thursday everyone!

A Soupcon of Mary

My chapter one is done
I feel I should have fun!
My inclination is to be silly
Like having chocolate laced with chilli!

Bloggie friends! What better way to celebrate the news of the impending royal wedding than with a bowl of Bloody Mary Soup!

Roast plenty of tomatoes with herbs and crushed garlic drizzled in oil for ½ hour or so. Stir a bit (or a lot!!) of vodka and tobasco sauce! Enjoy this piping hot!

Charlie says: Mmm. My letter to next door didn’t get very far..

Have a wicked Wednesday everyone!

Number's up

I admit that in the last month, I dabbled in the weekly lottery draw online. For a £1 a week I get to pick six numbers that never make it.

So imagine my excitement when I got this email from the National Lottery website with the subject heading “News about your ticket”.

Bloggie friends!!!! My numbers came up!

Oh ok, I got one number in the Dream number lotto and won £2.00!!! Yay!!

So what has this itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini of a win taught me?

To not scream "I won, I won" before going round telling your workmates and your boss what you really think of them and to not buy that island off the coast of Bora Bora before opening the said email.

Charlie says: No escape hatch to next door for me here. I wonder if the silly human notices how I've left the bin bucket out of its holder?

Have a temporal Tuesday everyone!

Imitation of Art

Bloggie friends!!!

Ever seen Moonstruck? A 1987 film with Cher in her pre-plastic surgery – great acting days?

Loretta is pushing 40, living with her parents, widowed, looking and acting like three times her age, burdened with guilt, given up on life and opting for a safe and secure married future as her destiny.

Then she discovers passion and the depth of love and gets a new haircut and dyes the grey out of her hair and watches Madame Butterfly and changes her wardrobe and bags herself a mumbling tormented and very funny Nicolas Cage – but on her own terms not his.

Even in 1987, I wanted my life to turn out to be like Loretta’s transformation!

Sometimes I wish life would imitate art!

Charlie says: As promised, a new pose!



Have a mellow Monday everyone!

Scout's Honour

This weekend I pledge:

1) To get all my ingredients together for my annual christmas cake baking! And there are a lot of ingredients bloggie friends - most important of all being a bottle or two of Drambuie to soak it in!! The cake takes 4 hours to bake and 4 months to rest.

So it'll be ready by Easter! LOL!

2) To not procrastinate any longer with my editing. Edit, edit, edit!! Get that novel ready-t! LOL!

3) To make peace with reading books online and stop being such a Luddite! Oh but I embrace my inner Luddite-ness!!! LOL!

Charlie says: I pledge to have a different pose next pic!


Whatever y'all do for the weekend bloggie friends - have a good 'un!!!

The Price I Pay

So I turn up at work wearing an embroidered top that I grabbed during a recent Next up to 75%-off Sale they only hold every 6 months or so and only for a weekend and work colleague J says “Oh I have that top” and I say, “What a bargain eh?!”

And she looks at me all puzzled and I realise that she bought the same top before the Sale at the full price.

There is no moral to this story except maybe not to laugh out loud in such an insensitive manner as I did then.

Ahem.

Charlie says: Karma. She has the top at full price, you have every writer's nightmare - the blank page.

p.s. I'm really a nice person! :-) With a bargain top! LOL! Oh stop it!!! I'm terrible. Off I go now to do my penance and face the blank page!

Have a great weekend y’all!!!

Blinkity-blink

Bloggie friends I am thinking
What shall I write in my posting?
My cursor won’t stop blinking
It’s past midnight and my mind is shrinking!

Charlie says: This is one desperate blog post!

11 am November 1918 - Armistice Day.

Have a peaceful Thursday everyone.

Earwigging Insanity

Overheard in the lobby of the brand new library I joined a few months ago:

Girl 1: It’s one of those old-school libraries.
Girl 2: Like how?
Girl 1: They expect you to be quiet and to read.

Bloggie friends – one of these days I will be arrested for earwigging and repeating dialogue verbatim!

The judge might not take kindly to me pleading “I am an artist and a student of life!”

Charlie says: In your case, I’d plead insanity.


Have a whale of a Wednesday everyone!

A Rude Shot of Vitamins

Bloggie friends!!

A rude medical examination, a shot of vitamins, another of antibiotics and some anaemic looking "special diet" food and Charlie is much perkier if a little slimmer than he was!

Charlie says: I don't do diets.


Thank you for all your kind thoughts! Thank you thank you thank you! Nice vet woman thinks it's still his throat virus lingering somewhat. Oh dear. More tests soon! For now he rests.

On the otherhand! I KNOW it's so Christmas when the dreaded workplace email of where to go for our staff christmas meal circulates!! LOL!!

This year I swore not to attend but one of the nicest people I work with is organizing it so what's a girl who would rather wash her hair and dress up the kitty as one of Santa's little helpers to do?

Have a tea for two Tuesday everyone!

Monday Hugs and Bare Bones

Bloggie friends!

I was going to post a really positive Monday post today because yippeee I finally got my novel's synopsis down to one side of A4 double spaced, 12 point, New Times Roman font! A total of 329 words.

My story stripped down to its bare bones from beginning to end.

Unfortunately Charlie's unwell again. :-(

So we are off to the vets first thing today!

Anyway, here he is Sunday morning looking lively and spry and just gorgeous. But by 11 in the evening he was very depressed, very quiet and hiding under the table after throwing up. The change is just so dramatic!

Hugs to everyone today - to lovely KarenG whose mum suffered a stroke, to beautiful Guinevere whose kitty Buffy went to the Bridge over the weekend, to lovely Sue whose sweet kitty Lucy is hopefully recovering and getting better, to wondeful Kim having a fab auction today for her smoochy Derry, to Sammy and Andy and Mum - facing tough times but fighting on!!

And to all you nanowrimo writers getting your word count ever closer to 50,000!!!

And to all you non-nano writers writing away!

And to all you dreamers and misfits!

And to all you adorable loveable and wonderful kitties, doggies and various pets with your fabulous hoomans!

Me and Charlie (who will get better!!!) would like to give you all Monday hugs!

Water falling from the skies

Bloggie friends!!!

What could be more embarrassing than walking out of the loo at your workplace back to your desk with a tissue stuck to your Hush Puppies boot?!?!

I know! Wearing your jumper inside out!! LOL!

And the good news is:

Charlie's finished his meds!! Yay! Unfortunately his release date from Old Kitty's prison was set back due to water falling from the skies and to Bonfire Night - lots of fireworks exploding everywhere!

So he kept me company as always!

Charlie says: I do not go out when there are loud bangs outside!


THANK YOU for all your encouraging comments about my novel's title!!! I really feel I'm progressing with this silly novel of mine thanks to all of you!

Have a terrific weekend everyone!!!

Working Title for a Fruity Friday

Bloggie friends!!! It's Friday!! Yay!!

I have my log-line all spruced up, my first 500 words given the thumbs up and now my title bloggie friends, my title!

"To Each Her Own".

Fight or flight? In or Out? Catchy or Nasty? Bleagh or Meh? LOL!

And so to usher in what I hope is going to be a fabulous weekend for all of us, here's some funny fruit!

Charlie says: I do not understand. Maybe the Eye will explain.


Have a fruitful Friday everyone!

The Eye has it!

Bloggie friends!

When I type “all my fault”, Word 2007 corrects it to “my entire fault”.

How bizarre?!?! Is that right? Oh dear!! LOL!

The Machines are not only speaking to me they correct my grammar too!

Anyway! Thank you so much for not throwing flour and eggs at me as I ambushed you with my logline! LOL!!

I really appreciate all your comments – all very helpful and hopeful! Yay! You are all super duper stars!

Charlie says: I am not impressed by The Eye.

Take that silly Eye!

It's a chocolate Halloween eye!

**********************

We are sending lots of cuddles to beautiful Inigo and his lovely family! Please take care!

We are also sending lots of hugs and well wishes to adorable GJ and mum - please get better!

Have a thoroughly modern Millie Thursday everyone!

Eye of the Logline

Bloggie friends!!! I have my tagline, my logline, my thingy-line!! LOL!

Apologies for ambushing you with my novel's logline but it’s taken me squazzilion re-writes to get this far!

Now does this grab you?? Yay or nay bloggie friends? Thumbs up or down? Deal or no deal??

Don’t be shy!!! LOL!

When 11 year old Ryan’s life is threatened by bullies he is rescued by his imaginary friend whom he soon realises is a vengeful spirit with her own terrifying agenda for him and his family.

Charlie says: I do not like what I’m staring at…




Tune in tomorrow bloggie friends to discover what’s perturbed poor Charlie!

Have a wickedly delicious Wednesday!

The Hills are Not Alive!

Bloggie friends!! The Horror! The Horror!

I’ve just discovered that one of the part-timers I work with has NEVER SEEN

THE SOUND OF MUSIC.

?!?!?!!?

At least she’s heard of the film.

So what if she’s in her early 20’s?!?! That really is no excuse is it?!?!

Charlie says: Your horror is balanced by my joy. I have pressies from far away!

Awww thank you so much beautiful Bin of ".. desperate reluctant housewife" for these wonderful pressies!!! The package was such a lovely surprise, thank you so much!

Have a tabby Tuesday everyone!

Surreal Workstations at 10 months

Sunday morning at the Lost Property office of Liverpool Street Station:

Me: Excuse me but has a pink umbrella been handed in?
Man behind the desk: What colour was it?
Me: Er. Pink.
Man rummages through cardboard box, picks one and shows me.
Me: Er, that’s a black brolly.
Man rummages through cardboard box, picks another and shows me.
Me: That’s more a polka dot red.
Man: How big was the umbrella?
Me: It’s a foldable brolly about a foot long.
Man goes round the back and returns with a fine bunch of golfing umbrellas all bigger than me.

Charlie says: Here is the silly human’s workspace for nice Summer’s Show Your Workplace Blogfest! I am refusing to move until she hands me the keys to the front door.

Bloggie friends!! Today my blog is…… 10 months young!! WHOOPEEEE!

Have a magnificent Monday eveyone!